I'm a CSE major at UCSD, spend most of my time coding and sleeping. I like to write and read in my free time, and am trying to figure out a social life at school. I'm bisexual, polyamorous, and very verbal about social justice. Feel free to use any OC on here however you wish, but please notify me beforehand.

 

Anonymous asked
Having dealt with similar issues, I feel like you have to decide every day to stick around. Been making that choice most days since I was 7. And most days, I'm glad I did. On days I'm not glad, I think, well, the option is open, but I'll reconsider tomorrow. And that's enough to get through to the next day. I hope you keep deciding to stick around. You are a beautiful human, even if you're new to the feeling.
Anonymous asked
do you think you want kids someday?

Idk. I don’t know if it would be ethical for me to have kids. I’ve always wanted to be a father, but I want to do it responsibly, as best as I possibly can. I have a lot of stuff, both personally and in my family history, that I don’t think is necessarily responsible to pass on to another human.

Anonymous asked
I'm glad you decided to stick around.

I have really mixed feelings about that because I haven’t been in treatment and feeling human long enough to treat it as I Decided, y’know? Like, I made that decision so so long ago, but I still ended up suicidal again.

That said, I’m glad I’m here, I’m glad I didn’t get bad enough to decide otherwise. I’m glad for the people that kept me here, who quite literally kept me alive, and for the people who pushed me, kicking, into treatment. Thank you all, all I can say is I won’t forget anything that you have done for me.

genderfucks asked
PLUS!!?? BECK S REALLY COOL!!!!!!!!!

You sent this to me a while ago and it is only more true now

Anonymous asked
Soosh

Ugh, I have a desperate need for sushi right now.

automatyne asked
your entire blog is selfies right now. amazing. you're a gift to the world

I’m glad you approve!

Anonymous asked
Write about what you would have missed in life were it not for mental illness. What are the good things that have come from it?

I know this isn’t true for everyone, but my mental illness has persistently been the worst thing in my life. I have absolutely no interest in romanticizing it or finding the silver lining, I’m on medication that makes it so I barely ever have to deal with it and that is exactly how I want it. The best thing that has ever happened with my mental illness is when I found out that I didn’t have to spend my whole life miserable and wanting to die. 

Hey, at least I know I’m fucked up chemically and it’s not all for attention!